(804) 928-3189 BethHedquist@gmail.com
Are you Searching for Meaning, or Aliveness?

Are you Searching for Meaning, or Aliveness?

Note: This post is dedicated in gratitude to those beautiful, adventurous soul friends who traveled with me…some for a short while, some longer, all who taught me what it means to be alive.   What is the meaning of life? Isn’t that the existential question that many of us ask?   One of my favorite quotes on this topic is:   “It is not so much the meaning of life we seek but our aliveness. When we have that, the meaning of life is obvious.”   ~ Anodea Judith   To know our aliveness. Yes. To live life fully alive, engaged, pouring oneself forth with reckless abandon. To know the excitement of showing up, fully present in the moment, without the luxury of certainty, safety, or the promise that everything will turn out according to our desires. Yet still willing to show up authentically with open hearts, just for the sake of the journey. To have the courage to let go of whatever stands in the way of ourselves and our deepest longing. In the absence of those guarantees against rejection, disappointment, and failure, there is clarity, passion, truth, and grace. When we are willing to dive into truth and love, we find abundant life, here and now.   Do you know what that is like? Did you possibly know at one time, and have forgotten?   Can you recall a time in your life when you knew what it felt like to be vibrantly alive?   I think of a special time in my life when I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt.   A group of friends...
The Sacred Gift of Conflict

The Sacred Gift of Conflict

At the end of the day, the most accurate yardstick that measures our personal and spiritual development is the degree to which we are willing to engage in relationship with others.   To love another with all their strengths and weaknesses is to find our connectedness to all human beings, which brings us closer to the unitive state.   Of course, since we are imperfect human beings, we will do this imperfectly. And, so will the person we are in relationship with! When we show up imperfectly, conflict is inevitably going to arise, and the question becomes… How do we engage in constructive conflict that supports our growth and deepens our relationships?   The answer to that question is complex, nuanced, and can not be answered by a set of steps or a learned set of communication tools. Those are important, and they certainly compliment our efforts to navigate conflict in relationship, but genuine relating is based on self responsibility, positive intention, self-forgiveness when you fail to live up to your intention, a commitment to self-awareness, and lots and lots of practice. That being said, I offer here a series of questions that I have found very helpful in aligning myself in truth and love when approaching a conflict:   ♦ Get very clear specifically what this person did that you are not comfortable with, as well as how you feel as a result. Try writing it down in this manner….“when …………….. did/said ………………., I felt …………………..” Name an emotion, not a thought or story line. For instance, “I feel hurt,” as opposed to “I feel like he/she was...