It’s vitally important to exercise self-care in order to be a powerful change agent. If you burn out or become overwhelmed and reactive, you will not be as effective in positively contributing to any cause you care deeply about. Much has been written about self-care in this increasingly hostile, polarized environment in the US. Therapists offer wise strategies including taking breaks from social media, exercising and eating right, getting support from like-minded individuals, stepping away when you are overwhelmed, and more.
All of these strategies help to protect your mental health, so they are worth implementing. At times, however, we can end up retreating from activism in the belief that it is an either/or situation: either I protect my mental health, or I engage in a cause I care about to my detriment. This is a dualistic way of thinking that those in power are counting on because it can paralyze us.
So while valuing strategies to protect our sanity, what if we also took things one step further? What if we could heal the places within that trigger us in the first place? How could we increase our capacity to remain engaged so that stepping away is needed less frequently and for shorter periods? How can we find the both/and in this situation?
While we are not responsible for everything happening in our world, we are responsible for how we respond to it. If we have unresolved childhood wounding, we will experience current day experiences through the filter of our beliefs and emotions that originated in that wounding. For instance, if you grew up in an environment where your parent or caregiver was cruel and abusive, and you responded by becoming silent and invisible to stay out of trouble, then when you experience cruelty coming from government leaders, any unresolved terror, grief and hurt will arise and potentially overwhelm your ability to resist without feeling re-traumatized.
In this example, it might seem sensible to withdraw, because it probably was somewhat successful in childhood. If, however, you gently, compassionately, and with adequate support meet those feelings they can begin to dissolve. You can learn to identify your feelings and beliefs without identifying them as the final truth of who you are. When you experience the current day cruelty, this greater understanding of who you really are will still find current happenings painful and shocking, but you will more frequently be able to respond without sacrificing your mental health. You will be able to feel the soft pain of the current situation and your childhood wounding, while remaining grounded enough to respond firmly, decisively, and with integrity. It’s not an easy task, but perfection isn’t the goal. Every ounce of progress contributes to the birth of a new consciousness that reflects the reality that we are all interconnected and interdependent.
As a Sacred Activist, I no longer strive to avoid experiencing painful feelings. Instead, I pray to be given the courage and strength to meet my childhood pain in a way that is healing rather than re-traumatizing, so that I can be a more effective change agent. If I get triggered, I do step back temporarily, but I use that time to explore what is bring triggered and to make space to allow all my feelings and be responsible to give the hurting part of me what she needs. I can then return to the triggering situation with more resolve, compassion, and clarity to respond from non-violence and love.
Responding from non-violence and love doesn’t mean I don’t get angry, voice my opposition, and vigorously resist. It just means I let love lead the way in my resistance. I embody the fiery love that knows holy anger is an appropriate response, while hating, attacking and othering benefits no one.
These are challenging times, and they are also opportunities to deepen and grow emotionally and spiritually. When we are actively committed to this work, hopelessness and despair visit much less frequently. And yet, we often have blindspots and cannot always see how we are creating our own suffering, so we need others to help us see what we cannot see, and to witness us in expressing feelings that might be too scary to feel all alone.
The old ways are dying, and something new is in the birth canal. If you feel called to be a mid-wife to this new birth, and are ready to do the inner work that will sustain you through this global dark night of the soul, then I invite you to join Cibele Salviatto and myself in a new series we are offering, entitled “Sacred Activism: Bridging Inner Work with Collective Transformation.”
We will be meeting monthly to explore various topics that will support you in strengthening your ability to respond to the challenges we face and contribute to the evolution of your individual consciousness, as well as the collective consciousness. Our first gathering is Monday, Jan. 26th from 6:30pm to 8:30pm.
I would love to have you join us! If you have questions, feel free to contact me here.
